


Monstruo y Monstruo

by Hammocker



Category: Far Cry 3, Hannibal (TV)
Genre: Beatles?, Crack, Crack Treated Seriously, Crossover, Gratuitous Swearing, M/M, Mood Swings, Therapy, What Have I Done
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-07
Updated: 2016-02-07
Packaged: 2018-05-18 21:15:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,067
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5943334
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hammocker/pseuds/Hammocker
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Vaas is dragged to Hannibal for therapy. This can only end well.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I don't do crossovers. I never do crossovers. I vowed not to because they're usually bad and just don't work. Then this happened. And other things happened. I don't know who's going to read this, but I hope it's not terrible.

“I don’t fucking like this, Jason.” It was the third time Vaas had said those words that day.

“You haven’t liked anyone you’ve seen,” Jason said.

He released Vaas’ hand as they entered the waiting hallway. Jason probably would have called it a waiting room, but it was a hallway. They’d entered through the back door, Vaas being all but dragged, and hadn’t seen a real room yet, just a couple over-furnished hallways with a bunch of old-ass wooden doors. What the fuck kind of house was this? It smelled like one of those museums Jason had dragged him to, all dead stuffed animals and old shit. It gave him a bad feeling in his gut, that was for sure. It was too big and too nice and it was right in the middle of the fucking city. Who the fuck was this guy?

“Just give it one more try, okay?” Jason said, giving him a smile of appeasement.

Vaas glared sideways at Jason. 

“Come on, Vaas, he’s supposed to be really good with people like you.”

“Fuck you mean “like me?” How many guys you know who’re like me?”

“You’re looking at one.”

Vaas’ expression twisted into an even nastier grimace. Fucking white boy. Twisting his words around. Vaas wanted to slap him and fuck him all at once.

“Look, this guy is supposed to be good with people who have, uh, violent histories.”

“Why the fuck aren’t you seeing him too then?”

“I already have a therapist who works for me. You’ve scared the hell out of everyone I’ve brought you to yet.”

“Why the fuck you think this is gonna be any different?”

“I told you, Dr. Lecter is supposed to be a kind of specialist.”

Vaas wrinkled his nose. “Specialist.” Who the fuck did this Lecter dickhead think he was?

“Fine,” he spat. “But no more after this shit. You’re all I fucking need for therapy, Jason.”

“I like helping you Vaas, but it would be good for you to see someone else sometimes.”

Vaas paced a few steps down the hall before turning on his heel and walking back. What the hell gave Jason that idea? He hadn’t improved at all before Jason came along. Why would anything or anyone else help?

“Just try to be nice?” Jason said, standing in his way. “For me?”

“Fuck,” Vaas groaned. Why did Jason have to be so lovable? “Fine, okay, I’ll try.”

“Thank you, Vaas,” Jason said, leaning in to kiss his cheek.

Vaas grunted and avoided Jason’s eyes. He knew Jason just wanted to help, but God, didn’t he ever fucking give up? Stupid, stubborn white boy. Nobody was gonna help him like Jason had, not ever.

The heavy door nearby opened up. Some middle-aged fuck with too-neat hair and a too-neat suit. He looked like one of those James Bond movie villains, looking down on everyone and everything around him. It made Vaas want to throw up.

“Mr. Montenegro?” he said, eyeing Vaas.

“Vaas, man,” he said, striding up to him and returning his gaze. “Just call me Vaas.”

“Vaas, then. It’s good to meet you.”

Dr. Lecter offered his hand. Vaas, however, didn’t want to touch this guy at all. He might have ended up covered in slime. So he simply held Lecter’s gaze, giving him his best “you gonna do something?” look. Lecter returned it, but with the addition of an unhealthy helping of pomp and pretense.

“Do come in,” Lecter finally said, stepping out of Vaas’ way.

He stole one last glance at Jason who gave him an encouraging smile. Fucker. Nonetheless he shook his head and trudged into the room, lightly shouldering the doctor on the way in.

Lecter closed the door behind them and Vaas was definitely in a lion’s den now. The room looked like it smelled, old, musty, and too much like a museum. Bookshelves, statues, a balcony, one of those leather couches you always saw in the movies. Vaas had never liked those kinds of movies. He stalked into the room, making an effort to keep distance between himself and every object littering the place.

“How are you feeling today, Vaas?”

“Felt a lot better before Jason took me here.”

“Therapy was not your idea?”

“Jason’s enough for me, hermano, I do fine with him, but no, no, no, no, I get dragged to five shrinks ‘cause he thinks I need to talk about my “issues”. I don't want to fucking talk, I don't need to. I deal fine with my issues.”

“Perhaps.” Lecter had moved to sit down on one of the armchairs in the middle of the room. “You admit you have issues. Would you help me understand them better?”

“Aren’t you supposed to be the one picking my brain?”

“The process of healing is one of give and take, Vaas. Allow me to begin: I’m told that you were a part of the Peruvian armed forces for a number of years.”

Vaas gave a dry cackle. That old lie, right. Jason, or whoever the fuck he’d hired to forge records for Vaas, wasn’t much good at making shit up.

“Yeah, that’s what they tell everyone. It’s bullshit, man, fucking fairy tale.”

“I see. In that case, would you care to tell me the truth?”

“Mm, I dunno, man, Jason doesn’t want me scaring any more shrinks.”

“You’ll find that I’m not easily frightened.”

“That’s what they all say,” Vaas said, rolling his eyes. “But, you know, who cares what Jason thinks? Let’s keep it simple: before Jason came along I was king of the pirates on Rook Island. Little jungle place in the south Pacific. Still kinda am.”

A silence dragged on for a moment before Lecter spoke again.

“Really now?”

“Oh, yeah. You don’t believe it?”

“I’ve heard unlikelier tales in my time which have turned out to be true.”

Vaas turned to Hannibal and squinted at him.

“Fuck kinda answer is that? It’s a yes or no question, simple.”

“Rarely are these matters simple affairs, I’ve found.”

“You always think this hard about stuff?”

“Thinking is much of what I do. If I only thought simply, my life would be very boring.”

Vaas snorted, shaking his head.

“Thinking hard don’t do you much good away from all this. My jungle would eat you alive. Wouldn't be bored then, huh?”

He smirked at the thought of this pompous ass wandering through trees and plains, trying to find his way. Lecter couldn't know much of the world outside of his fancy fucking house. He wasn’t anything like Vaas at all, that was for sure. Yet he stayed silent, staring Vaas down despite his threatening words.

“Whatever, hermano. So I’m king of my island and outta nowhere this little fucking white boy comes along and flips my world...”

*****

Out in the lobby, Jason still sat, toying with his phone as he worried about what was going on inside. No screaming yet, so that was good, but the tension was killing him. It didn’t usually take long before things went south. Vaas would have an outburst for some reason or another and he’d get tossed out when those kinds of outbursts were exactly what he was there to resolve. Maybe Jason should have gone in with him for support, if Dr. Lecter didn’t mind. He should have thought to ask.

Jason heard a door shut not far away. Probably the same door they had come in from. A moment later, a guy in a jacket and jeans trudged in.

He was a little older than Jason, though, not by very much. His hair was fairly short and curly, but unkempt and maybe in need of a trim. His eyes fell on Jason once and after a double take he clearly tried to hide. He tilted his head down, sat down not too far away, and kept his arms close to his torso. Jason had never seen anyone look so startled by the presence of another human being before. It was a little unsettling really.

“Hey,” Jason said, more trying to calm his own nerves than anything.

The man flinched at being spoken to, glancing up at Jason for an instant before gazing back at the floor.

“Hi,” he mumbled.

“You’re here to see Dr. Lecter?”’

“What else would I be doing?” He smiled wryly, despite lack of eye contact.

Jason shrugged. “I don’t know, just asking.”

This guy obviously wanted to be left alone and Jason probably should have shut up anyway, but he needed something substantial to do. And what harm was there in just being sociable?

“Is he any good?”

“Yeah,” the guy said slowly. “Guess you could say that. He’s helped me.”

“What with? If you don’t mind me asking.”

“A lot of things. He helps me understand myself. I feel better around him. That’s all.”

“Uh. That sounds good.”

“Yeah, doesn’t it though?” he sighed.

“So. You got a name?” Jason asked.

“Do you know anyone who doesn’t?” the guy said, lifting his head for just a brief second to give Jason a weak glare.

“I was just asking,” Jason said. “I’m Jason.”

The guy stared at him for a second like he was insane. Like it was utterly inconceivable that someone was being unconditionally friendly towards him. Or, maybe, that it was insane to do so.

“Will,” he finally said.

“Well, nice meeting you, Will,”

“Yeah,” was the only reply he got, but Jason could swear that he saw a small smile perk up on Will’s face for an instant.

*****

“So, that’s how I got to California. Big fuckin’ adventure, huh?”

Lecter’s stupid, uptight face had taken on a subtle tone of confusion. He definitely wasn’t believing Vaas, but he’d listened better than any of the other therapists he’d been to yet. It was kinda nice, actually, being listened to without interruption. It reminded him of how Jason was sometimes.

“Indeed,” he said.

“Yeah, it wasn’t so bad, really. I’d look death in the face any fucking day if it means I get to be with Jason.”

“You are aware of the trauma such experiences are known to cause?”

“Trauma?” Vaas echoed. “Trauma does not begin to cover what that island fucking did to me. It changes you.”

“I’ve gathered as much. Quite honestly, I’m surprised you’re here and not in a hospital. Jason as well.”

“Yeah, well, we’re not. So that’s that.”

“You’re quite attached to him.”

“Who? Jason? Yeah, so?”

“You’re also quite attached to this island of yours, the idea of it.”

“I lived there ninety percent of my life. You're not attached to your house?”

“The last ten percent has been highly influenced by Jason, I presume.”

“Duh. Wouldn’t be here if I wasn’t.”

“Influence seems to be a common theme in your life, Vaas. The influence of this island, your sister, the “magic” tattoos you’ve described, drugs, Jason.”

A burning had started in the back of Vaas’ head, a primal flame that he knew all too well.

“Don’t fucking dance around this with me,” he said, keeping his tone under wraps as much as he could manage.

“Do you think of yourself as an agent?”

“Could you repeat that, like, in English? Or Spanish, I can do Spanish.”

“¿Crees tener el control de tu vida?”

The question made Vaas’ throat tighten up. Of course he was the master of his life. He wouldn’t have been able to survive if he wasn’t. That should have been obvious.

“Sí,” he said. “Always have.”

“And yet you needed Jason to pull you out of that situation.”

“Are you calling me some kind of fucking damsel?” Vaas snapped.

“Are you?”

“I was just fucking fine before Jason came along. I just got better after we had our little fight and we left.”

“A resistant state of need is no less a state of need.”

State of need, he says. What the hell? Who was this guy to tell him what state he’d been in? What did he know? Vaas couldn’t take it anymore.

“Let me tell you something: I lived in a fucking jungle all my life sandwiched between a bitch sister and a bitch boss. Don’t. Fucking. Think. You can judge me!” he shrieked, eyes blowing up wide. “I fucking chose to do everything I did! When you have everything you love ripped out of your hands, what the fuck do you expect me to do?! Stay and let the family who pretended like they loved you tear you up until there’s nothing left?! Let your sister fuck you while she lies to your fucking face?! Like you’d have done any of this shit different if you were me! No, no, actually, you’d have fucking died if you’d been me, you couldn’t survive the jungle for five fucking seconds. I am so fucking sick of you people and your stupid little tougher-than-you act!”

*****

As screams and shrieks started to permeate the walls, Jason had to bite his lip in embarrassment. He prayed that Dr. Lecter would be able to handle Vaas without any sedatives.

Will was turning his head left and right, trying to avoid the noise, maybe. He gave a proper glance Jason’s way for the first time since he came in and Jason returned a sheepish smile.

“That’s my boyfriend. Been trying to get him help for a while.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah. He’s not from around here.”

“Neither is mine. Kind of.”

“Yeah? What’s he like?”

“He’s- good. He’s kind to me, usually. He cooks.”

“Sounds like mine.”

“I hope not.”

“What? You don’t like him?”

“I do. Sometimes I question my sanity, but I do.”

“Sanity, now there’s something I never hear the end of with Vaas.”

“Could be talking about it now,” Will said, peering towards the door.

“Uh. Maybe,” was all Jason could think to say.

“I hope Hannibal doesn’t- I hope he likes him. Despite everything.”

If Jason didn’t know any better, he might have said Will sounded worried.

“Yeah, I really do too. Haven’t had much luck with finding a good psychotherapist for him yet.”

“Well. Maybe you got lucky today.”

“God, I hope so.” Jason snorted lightly “Boyfriends, huh? What a pain.”

“You don’t know the half of it,” Will said, shaking his head.

*****

“You sit there and act like you’re fucking smart and fucking tough with your fancy fucking clothes and your fancy fucking hair, but what the fuck do you know?! You’re not any better than me and you never have been!”

Vaas’ lungs stung and he was out of breath, but he felt better. His teeth were bared and his eyelids twitched as he glared at Lecter.

Lecter held his gaze just as he always had, but his eyes were twitching. Vaas would have smiled if he hadn’t just gotten done screaming. He’d had some kind of affect.

“Please do sit, Vaas.”

“Piss off,” Vaas spat.

“Sit!” the doctor barked, his composure finally breaking, if only for a moment. 

Vaas was taken aback by the sudden shift. It took him back to when he’d be on the phone with Hoyt and he’d say the wrong word and then he was being yelled at about how useless he was. He wanted to laugh and he wanted to cower all at once. He wasn’t about to do the latter, but something in his gut told him that it was a bad idea to prod any further. So he stepped over to the armchair across from Lecter and flopped down upon it.

“Does this happen often?” Lecter asked after a moment of collecting himself.

“What?”

“Sudden emotional bouts.”

“For you or me?” Vaas asked with a smile.

Lecter didn’t return the smile nor did he speak.

“Uh. Yeah, I guess,” Vaas admitted, sitting up in his chair. “When I got away from my sister and got in with the pirates and Hoyt, that’s when I really started doing it. I’d get angry at my boys and they’d get scared. I mean, I loved them, I still do, but I get so fucking angry and I just want to beat on something until I’m happy again.”

“Why do you think that is?”

“‘cause’a trauma, I guess, like you said. I was sad ‘cause I lost my family so I got angry and it let me forget shit. Not that complicated.”

“I’m not sure that’s the whole truth.”

“That’s ‘cause you’re thinking too much. Or not enough, maybe, I dunno. Do you know the definition of insanity?”

“Many.”

“There’s only one good one, you know. The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again, expecting shit to change. I thought it was bullshit when I first that, fucking stupid white bullshit, but then I realized it’s true. And you know what I did on that island? Same fucking things, over and over and over again. And I still do it.” Vaas rested his chin in his palm. “I guess the island’s still in me. Don’t know if I can get it out.”

“A tiger out of the jungle is still a tiger. Perhaps it’s not meant to come out.”

Now, Vaas was no expert with words or people or therapists, but he was pretty sure that they weren’t supposed to encourage their patients’ bad behavior. And that sounded very much like encouraging bad behavior to Vaas.

“Aren’t you supposed to, like, actually help me deal with my feelings or something?”

“I find that’s not always the best route to take.”

Vaas gave him a cockeyed stare. “You’re not from California, are you?”

“No.”

“Didn’t think so. Still fucking weird though.”

“Aren’t we all?”

Vaas snickered at that. Lecter was right about that much.

“You know, the island wasn’t all bad,” Vaas said. “Me and my boys, we had happy times. We did drugs together, we danced in the night, we all looked after each other when we weren’t fucking with the natives.”

“Camaraderie in situations of war. Historically very common.”

“Yeah, man, it was a good time. When we got visitors, I liked to bury some in the sand on the beach, you know?” Vaas sat up, smiling with half-lidded eyes as he remembered one particular instance. “Just before Jason came, I had this guy, Chris, and we had so much fun. He thought he was big, but no, no, he was just a little thing. Kinda cute, but not cute like Jason. I shocked him. I put spiders on his face. I gave him dental hygiene advice. I cooked up his friend and had him eat it. And he screamed and hollered and argued with me like a dumbass. Then he died. Had to bury him all the way. Fuckin’ shame.”

“Indeed. Quite a waste,” Lecter said.

“Yeah, probably. But it was fun while it lasted,” Vaas said before a frown came over his face. “You’re supposed to keep this secret, right?”

“Of course.”

“Yeah, Jason’s not gonna be happy about me telling you this, but you know, you’re pretty fucking chill.”

“I’m pleased you think so.”

“Yeah. So that’s me. What about you?”

“What about me?”

“I dunno. If you’re not from California, where are you from?”

Lecter hesitated before answering, “I was born in Lithuania, though, I’d hesitate to say that's where I’m from.”

Vaas rolled his eyes, leaning forward and grinning at Lecter.

“You think too much, man. So you do anything else that’s not therapy?”

“I very much enjoy cooking. Hunting as well.”

“Oh, Jason likes hunting too. I used to be good at it, ‘til I stopped trying.”

“Perhaps you might re-learn. Some most intriguing prey in these parts.”

“Oh, yeah? Like what?”

*****

Jason’s breath caught in his throat as the office door finally opened once more. It had been a full hour and the screaming had stopped long ago. God knows what had happened in that time.

“We’ll continue next week then,” Dr. Lecter said first thing as he appeared from the room.

Vaas stepped out, smiling as true as any smile he’d give Jason.

“Yeah, man, yeah, that’s fine.”

Jason had expected many things, planned for them even. He’d expected Vaas to be kicked out, he’d expected shrieking, he expected a lawsuit or a restraining order. Yet he hadn’t planned for a success.

“How-? You’re serious?”

“Is that an issue?” Hannibal asked, looking from Vaas to Jason.

“No, no, ‘course not,” Vaas cut in. “Jason’s just being stupid, he does that.”

“I see,”

“Thanks, hermano,” Vaas said, patting Hannibal’s shoulder

“You may call me Hannibal,” he corrected, brow furrowed just a bit.

“Whatever, Hanniball,” Vaas said as he stepped over next to Jason.

“Will,” Hannibal prompted, shifting his gaze to said individual.

Will stood up and walked towards the door, just barely looking back at Hannibal.

“See you, Will,” Jason said as he got up.

“Bye,” Will said, half-smiling at Jason.

Hannibal gave Will a sideways glance. He returned a modest shrug before disappearing into the office.

“Good day,” Hannibal said with a nod Vaas’ way before shutting the door, leaving Vaas and Jason alone.

“How the hell did you get through that?” Jason demanded, shock still permeating his system.

“He was a pretty cool guy,” Vaas said. “I mean, for a guy in that suit with this house.”

“I- Really?”

“Yeah,” Vaas said, rolling his eyes like Jason was being ridiculous. “Didn’t they ever teach you not to judge books by looks?”

“Because you’re so non-judgmental.”

“Fuck yeah I am, have you seen me?" Vaas punched Jason's chest just lightly. "Quit being such a little bitch and be happy; you did that okay on the island.”

“I guess I did,” Jason said, giving a nod of deference. “And I am happy that you found someone you like.”

“You’re too good, Jason,” Vaas said as he took one of Jason’s hands. “Looking out for me like that,”

“Someone has to and no one else can keep up with you.”

“Only ‘cause you killed everyone else who could.”

With that, Vaas trotted down the hallway, dragging Jason behind him as he went. Jason had to laugh a little. Vaas was weird, contradictory, violent, and prone to mood swings, but God if Jason wasn’t happiest when they were all those things together. They just had to work on the violence and the mood swings, that was all.

*****

“I’m surprised,” Hannibal said as he shut the door.

“Are you?” Will asked.

“You made a friend within an hour. That’s anomaly.”

“I guess he's a friend. He’s a nice kid. Sort of. Didn’t give me much of a choice.” Will made his way into the room and sat down as he spoke. “How was his boyfriend?”

“Interesting. Different even.”

“Different,” Will echoed.

“Nothing like you,” Hannibal said, approaching Will from behind to stroke through his hair. “But I’m very much considering inviting him over for dinner.”

“Have you ever not had an acquaintance over for dinner?”

“Not in recent memory, I’m afraid.”

“Just- maybe don’t invite his boyfriend.”

“Whyever not?”

“He’s rude.”

“And you are as well, quite often,” Hannibal said, pulling his fingers out of Will’s hair and moving to sit down as well. “Best we move on to more pertinent matters.”

“Of course,” Will said with a smile.


	2. Yellow Submarine

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't know what happened here. I'm so sorry. It's a crossover, I couldn't resist.

It was at that moment that from Hannibal’s office, a giant, impractically designed, yellow submarine erupted.  
Jason had expected many things, planned for them even. He’d expected Vaas to be kicked out, he’d expected shrieking, he expected a lawsuit or a restraining order. Yet he hadn’t planned for a yellow submarine.

It had four windows. He saw Hannibal through the first, wearing a captain’s cap then and operating a console full of extraneous levers.

“Hey, Jason!” Vaas said, waving from the second window as it passed by. “Things went pretty good.”

“All aboard,” Hannibal said, opening up the top hatch.

Will and Jason gave each other a look. One of those looks when you know that everything you’ve ever known has been shattered and replaced with moon cheese and toothpicks. Yet neither of them seemed bothered by it. One by one, they climbed up the ladder going up the submarine’s side and hopped into it.

“Full speed ahead. Destination: an octopus’ garden,” Hannibal said once they were all inside. He turned a lever and they proceeded down the hall until they smashed out through the wall and into the city.

California was terrorized by four Beatles wanna-bes in a flying submarine that day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Somehow my beta and I got a submarine in the writing during the editing process and that became a yellow submarine and now these four are the fab four.
> 
> Hannibal and Vaas are totally John and Paul respectively, the driving forces who clash. Will is Ringo, being the underdog who everyone beats up on and we all root for. Jason is George. No one cares about George. I want a photoshop of this. I might have to make one.


End file.
